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Quitters of the World, Unite! 

5/22/2012

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I've known quite a few quitters as, I imagine you have, also.  Truth be told, I am a quitter.  Not just a quitter of bad habits but a quitter of noble and worthy endeavors, as well . . . . .

I had a conversation a few weeks ago with a friend about activities we stopped doing and organizations we joined then later quit to do something else; about people who judged us harshly, fewer who understood, and our own inner struggle with regret and guilt coupled with a sense of freedom.  

These are some of the quitters that I know:
. . .  a part time staff person in a large church struggled as leadership changed; she stayed for awhile, then created an exit strategy, wondering all the while if leaving her position would cause her to lose valuable friendships; 
. . .  another friend quit a challenging, well paying job that was demanding, more taxing to his body and soul than he wanted to endure;  
. . .  a woman helped establish a community service organization and served as an active volunteer for years; as she watched the program head in a direction she could not support, she knew it was time to quit;
. . .  a young student quit soccer for a season, missed it, picked it up again and is now a star player.

My conversation with my friend grew hilarious as we proposed creating "Quitters of the World" but we quit the idea quickly realizing that people would join only to quit and even we, the founders of "Quitters" couldn't be counted on to stay for long or even to show up at the meetings that probably would never happen because everybody quit! We laughed and lightened up about being quitters. 

Why does quitting feel so onerous? What do we fear when considering quitting?  Loss of respect, loss of privilege, of status, of friends, or self worth?  Anarchy??? What if everybody quit?  Well, what if every body quit doing whatever caused unnecessary activity, harm to self or to another, overtaxing of resources, depletion, exhaustion?  What would happen if every body chose instead to do only those things that brought joy, that generated creative solutions, that made love a valuable commodity, vital families and good health the measures of success, cooperation a top priority?  What if? What if?  . . . . .
                    
                         Just imagine the impact of a world of thoughtful quitters.



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service is a moving river . . . . .

5/11/2012

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A friend recently hosted her bi-weekly gathering "Chocolate for the Soul."  The topic for conversation was service.  Another friend told of a recent meeting he had with a veteran of World War II and the Korean War.  Service, indeed, has many forms: to serve one's country, to serve a meal, to serve as a volunteer, to serve for a cause, to serve the sick.  Service in these ways is a response to a need that usually satisfies both the giver and the receiver.  Service can, at times, feel like an obligation, a burden.  Then the purity of the gift is lost; it is no longer service.  Often service is offered by those who perceive that they have more - wealth, knowledge, wisdom, experience, advantage - to those who have less.  This is not service either, but dependency and, at times, exploitation.  Sounds harsh, but is true. 

True, soul full service springs from a deep well that must give; that must. Service in its pure essence is not dependent upon a recipient, does not need to know an outcome.  Soul full service is an availability, without a question.  Service, elevated and yet humbled, is a moving river that flows across hospitable or challenging terrain, nourishing, refreshing, bringing life to every thing it touches.


Mothers Day is just a couple of days away, a time to reflect on adults who serve others willingly, generously.  I consider the availability of a mother, a father, to a child; the generosity of grandparents, the wisdom of aunties and uncles; their gifts given freely, soul fully, humbly, without desire for gain.  Given because they must serve; they must.  Because it is their essence, their depth, wisdom attained that is overflowing.  A moving river bringing life.

Who are the people that you know who are rivers of service, flowing?  Are you one?  Consider my new poem, "sentry" for more thoughts about service.

Blessings be yours -
Phyllis

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It's a matter of balance. . . .

5/2/2012

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As he kept a half dozen colored balls moving through the air, the juggler told his class of 6, 7 and 8 year old aspiring circus clowns and jugglers, “It’s all about balance; concentration and balance.  You can do anything you want to do if you remember to concentrate and keep your balance.”  “Wow! I can do that!” they all said eagerly.  And so it is.

Now I ask you to recall your aspiring self at 6, 7 or 8 years old.  Did you aspire to keeping 4 or 5 balls flying in the air skillfully at any given time? Or did you tell your family and friends, “When I grow up, I’m going to be a loser, a no account, a quitter.”  More likely your young self said “When I grow up, I’m going to be the best -------------.”  And you meant it, and so did I.  What a great aspiration to carry us through school and on into a career or growing a family of our own.  And to keep on going being the best at our chosen "bestness." Our world, our communities, our families need us to be our best, to show up with hope and enthusiasm and commitment. That’s the concentration part.

And what about the balance?  The juggler said we need both, concentration and balance.  Sometimes the concentration can lead us to neglect the balance.  We have important work to do, people counting on us, just one more project almost completed, a few more meetings, another idea stirring in the background.  Yes, we missed our daughter’s spelling contest, our son’s football game, our father’s birthday, our neighborhood clean up day.  But there will always be another one.  As soon as we finish these few tasks, then we will take a break. 

I confess to doing too much and having to learn and learn again to find a balance.  If you are checking in on my weekly posts you have noticed that weekly has recently become, well, every other week, mostly.  Partly, I feel guilty about that, as overachievers tend to do.  And, partly, I’m congratulating myself for remembering the balance.  Sometimes there's the garden to weed, my grandson's soccer game, my granddaughter's high school talent show, my good friend who needs to talk because her mother was just hospitalized.  The tasks will get done, eventually. Or maybe not.  It will be just fine.  And nobody will die if I can't do it all.  I'm doing my best!

I offer you the woman with the burden basket on the poems page.  May she be your friend as she is mine.



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    musings may delight or disturb;  musings may spark new activity, sometimes. . . . .

    Phyllis shares current musings, momentary insights, process in motion.


    All reflections are original material copyrighted by Phyllis.  Please ask permission to quote, copy or reproduce. 



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