reflections from the interior
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being useful

3/15/2014

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I’m calling it the groundhog day syndrome.  Pop your head outside some time in March ( the official groundhog does it in February, silly fellow! ) and if everything round about is not shouting, "SUMMER!!!," then go back to sleep.  Hibernate.  Retreat.  Forget it for an undetermined length of time.  Part of the groundhog day syndrome is that our behavior becomes as schizophrenic as the weather.  We have two days of jubilant celebration of the rites of spring followed by three days of grumbling while we shovel snow – again. Our high expectations are dashed to the ground and we crumble.  Crawling back into the cave for another snooze seems to be the only action that appeals.  That’s a full blown case of the groundhog syndrome.  That was me a couple of weeks ago.

Take a few special phone calls, blend them with a handful of emails, season with a random quote or a delicious idea and you have the antidote for the groundhog experience.  Voila! Everything takes a turn and looks more inviting.  There is hope for each and every grumpy groundhog!  The novel I just finished reading was a turning point, a catalyst for moving my groundhog back into life.  The narrator is a father in his 60’s writing to his only child, a 7 year old boy born years past the time when the father ever expected he would have a child. The father is a minister and the son and grandson of ministers. He is dying. He writes all the things that he expected to be saying to his son as they grew older together.  Marilynne Robinson is the author of “Gilead”, a book filled with memorable quotes.  This paragraph, toward the end of the story touched me deeply and changed my thinking about hibernating. 

“Theologians talk about a prevenient grace that precedes grace itself and allows us to accept it.  I think there must also be a prevenient courage that allows us to be brave – that is, to acknowledge that there is more beauty than our eyes can bear, that precious things have been put into our hands and to do nothing to honor them is to do great harm.  And therefore, this courage allows us, as the old men said, to make ourselves useful.  It allows us to be generous, which is another way of saying exactly the same thing.  But that is the pulpit speaking. What have I to leave you but the ruins of old courage, and the love of old gallantry and hope? Well, as I have said, it is all an ember now. And the good Lord will surely someday breathe it into flame again. . . . .  . I will pray that you find a way to be useful.  I will pray.  And then I will sleep.”

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pausing to reflect

3/9/2014

2 Comments

 
Picture
what's next ?
Picture
pause to reflect. . . . . .  

I’ve truly enjoyed taking photographs and matching them to reflections and poems. I’ve learned a lot about inner and outer landscapes and their influence, one upon the other. I love telling stories. For me, they are freeze-frames of our ordinary days that connect us to one another.  They take the personal into the universal, to our shared knowing and understanding.  I wasn’t consciously aware of all this when I began my website more than three years ago.  Nor did I know I would have much to share for this long a time period. The discipline of writing, of tuning in to whatever is percolating in the moment, has opened me to other dimensions of humanness. 

Most often it feels as if my writing has a plan of its own that I may be privy to only after the piece is complete.  It feels guided and inspired by a spirit who knows more than I do and who is determined to get thoughts and insights on paper.  The words arrange themselves, effortlessly, to reveal messages that have been coming forth from a vague imaginal world to the world of physicality; a place felt but difficult to articulate. Rarely do I edit or change any of it.  I believe that this is what is intended even when I may not fully grasp the meaning of the message or the timing.

Perhaps at times my writing has revealed too much; at other times it may have been trite or superficial; too preachy or too far out. Sometimes it may be just confusing drivel. Sometimes it seems arrogant to think I have anything at all worth sharing.  I write when the muse moves me, sometimes that means every day for hours, other times I’m dry as dust and the muse is in hiding.  I trust that words will be given me when it is the right time.  And that’s what I have shared on my website.  I’ve had no overt intention to preach or convert or condemn anyone, but maybe the teacher in me, or the mom, takes over now and then.  I don’t know.  I do know that I feel immersed in our shared humanness when I’m able to express my perspective, looking through my window of experience.  And I love hearing your comments and your expressions of your life story. 


taking a break . . . .

I’ve returned home to South Dakota. I feel my connection to place – this place – more deeply than ever. It is a significant relationship, demanding my attention, asking me to listen, to allow for more spaciousness and silence, to receive that which is waiting to reveal itself.

In returning home to place, I also have returned home to people.  Many I’ve known for most of my adult life; others for not so long. They are all of equal value to me.  We have shared history. We’ve been part of one another’s joy and pain, major transitions, celebrations and sorrows.  We know the meanings of our experience without having to explain how the past fits into the present and why it makes sense.  My personal story has been supported and cherished and woven together by loving hands of dear friends.  These human relationships are precious.  I am feeling called to give spaciousness and silence here, too.  To reflect with new eyes and an open heart, to be grateful, to be kind, to be attentive.

My website will remain on line but it will be hibernating.  From time to time I may have a few words to share.  I don’t know.  I hope you will check in now and then and share with me your stirrings and activities.  Your life is an inspiration to me.  May you know how blessed you are and may you be a blessing to others . . . .


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    musings may delight or disturb;  musings may spark new activity, sometimes. . . . .

    Phyllis shares current musings, momentary insights, process in motion.


    All reflections are original material copyrighted by Phyllis.  Please ask permission to quote, copy or reproduce. 



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